Linda Rook writes from experience. Over twenty years ago, she and her husband separated for three years. Now, they’ve been married fifty-one plus years total. Her first book, Broken Heart on Hold—Surviving Separation, told of her pain and of her gaining peace. That her effective techniques are demonstrated by their long-term marriage and that they share a ministry—Marriage 911.
I found Fighting for Your Marriage While Separated insightful and packed with nuggets of great advice. I learned most people in this situation do the wrong things: cry, beg the spouse to come back, blame themselves, etc., and do so in the worst possible ways.
Linda advises staying silent at first, taking time to react to the new situation, figuring out how the relationship dynamics have changed, and exchanging negative communication patterns for positive ones. She tells the reader asking for help demonstrates caring, that you need to protect your children and let them know the separation was in no way their fault, and being willing to let go.
Although I’ve not been in Linda’s situation, I found many of the tips helpful to keep marriages strong. My husband and I, for example, have had to work hard to fine tune our communication styles so we aren’t misunderstood by the other.
I had the opportunity to interview Linda at the Munce Christian Product Expo (CPE) last August. Born in Iowa, but her family moved to California where she grew up. Formerly an officer in the Navy, her husband now practices law—they live in Florida. She majored in Creative Writing and San Francisco State University and worked for a time at ABC, then as an English teacher. Her love was writing, but she had to wait for God’s timing to embark on that journey.
Her husband left her after their children grew up and left home. They’d grown apart, had different interests, and basically different lives. They kept issues inside and didn’t resolve them. Bitterness and resentment had intensified between them until he left.
Linda told me she was devastated and did many of the wrong things at first. But she learned the lesson hope is eternal—even if you have to fight for your marriage alone.
I highly recommend Fighting for Your Marriage While Separated to anyone with marriage concerns or problems, or who have separated from their spouses. You will be encouraged in your journey.
The author gifted me with a copy of her book, but I was in no way obligated to write a review.